No Boyfriends?

This morning a man at the mall stopped in his tracks and stared at me in astonishment when I told him that I don’t have a boyfriend. I told him I was waiting on God’s perfect timing in bringing the right man into my life.

“Honey, there ain’t no perfect guy out there. And you’re gonna have to wait a long time for any guy if you don’t got a boyfriend now.”

“I know that there’s no perfect man out there, but there is a perfect God. And He has perfect plans for me. I’ll trust Him.”

“You shouldn’t wait on Him. You need to get out there and find yourself a guy. Otherwise you’ll be waiting a long, long time.” He pronounced those last three words ominously, like a bad nightmare or a lifelong prison sentence.

“No, I don’t need to get out there and find some guy. God will do that for me.” I simply said.
The man just shook his head and went away mumbling about how naive I was and how I had to find a guy real soon, because one couldn’t rely on God.

I stared into nothingness as the man’s retreating steps echoed down the hall. Instead of the fear and impulsiveness and go-find-him-now mentality that the man at the mall tried to instill in me, peace and assurance surrounded my heart. I was reminded of where it says in Proverbs 18:22 that “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” Notice that the verse clearly indicates that it’s the man who finds the wife and not the other way around!

Another quote by Christian author Max Lucado further assured me that “a woman’s heart must be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.”

Worldly wisdom says to go find a guy – now! Worldly wisdom says you must have a boyfriend. Worldly wisdom says that you won’t be satisfied until you have one. Worldly wisdom says to do it yourself.

The thing is, worldly wisdom is the opposite of godly wisdom – of God’s way of doing things.

Godly wisdom says to wait, be patient. Godly wisdom says that you don’t have to have a boyfriend. Godly wisdom says that you can be satisfied in God alone. Godly wisdom says that you should let God script your love story.

So, who would you rather stick with – wretched sinners and their “wisdom” or a holy, perfect, and loving God who is all-knowing, all-powerful, and has your best interest at heart?

I’ll stick with Him.


  1. Oh thank you so much for this! I've been through all that. Even from family members and pastors. "Don't you have a 'someone' yet?"
    "God's taking care of me."
    Blank stares.
    But I've learned, in watching my friends stuff their hearts into shredders, and then watching those who wait on the Lord, and taste what is truly good- that His ways are the very sweetest. And I've tasted that reality in the freedom of my own life- a freedom I wouldn't have if I was out there playing 'snag-a-guy'. I'll stick with Him as well.
    Have a beautiful Christmas week!

  2. Thank you for the reminder. It seems like everywhere I go even among christians people are always bagering me about finding a boyfriend or husband. There have even been times when I allowed their feelings to rub off on me and I would begin to wonder if God ever would bring the right man along. But all I have to do is look to God and let Him show me His perfect plan for my life. I know that He has perfect timing. And He will sustainme in the meantime. Thank you for reminding me of this.

  3. This is such an encouragement to read! I find I often get those same comments from other Christians. They often try to argue that waiting for God's timing is a symptom of laziness or fear. According to many, I need to be out there actively hunting for a man in order for God to provide. That, in my mind, seems to reflect a lack of trust in His faithfulness and provision! They can't understand why I don't run to register at E-Harmony or join singles groups. Yet, despite the frustration of repeatedly hearing that I'm crazy to wait on God, I have experienced some of the most peaceful and intimate times with my Loving God when I have been most patient and intent in waiting for His best for me. I'd rather trust His choices than mine any day!

  4. Thank you for not letting that incident make you stumble and doubt your beliefs. I know whenever I am met with opposition, I tend to give in, or second guess what I am defending. This post was really encouraging, thanks!

  5. Great reminder! Thanks for posting this!

    Paper Bird

  6. I agree, you don't need to go searching for a male.
    But don't sit in your bedroom waiting for a guy because you'll never met anyone; boyfriend or otherwise.

  7. That's right, no boyfriend for me! How foolish would it be for me to go out and try to find that certain 'someone' when all I can see is their outside looks and actions. But God can see everybody at heart level, plus He already has someone picked out for me, so I just have to wait. Great article.

  8. Thank you! I have made a promise not to date until I am at least 18. I have seen so many friends time after time again break their hearts. Plus, why in the world would you need a boyfriend when you'r fifteen (my age)? You don't need to know who you'r going to marry, and your emotions are all wacky when your that young anyway. If you have not already read it, I recommend "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. (By the way, I found your blog thanks to Alex and Brett Harris and "Do Hard Things", another great book) :D

  9. I completely agree with you Elizabeth! (BTW I've also found this site through "DO HARD THINGS" and also highly recommend "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" for ANY christian teen (or young adult) striving to live a pure life for Jesus. Very good books). I know many YOUNG girls who seem unable to live without a boyfriend! When in reality, who they really cannot live without is Jesus.
    Keep up the great posts!

  10. That's right! I agree with you Elizabeth too! Wish you good luck!!!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog


How a Journey of 8,000 Miles Changed Me, part 2

Book Giveaway