Quotations: A Portable Sanctuary

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"What happens in meditation is that we create the emotional and spiritual space which allows Christ to construct an inner sanctuary in the heart. The wonderful verse 'I stand at the door and knock...' was originally penned for believers, not unbelievers (Rev. 3:20). We who have turned our lives over to Christ need to know how very much he longs to eat with us, to commune with us. He desires a perpetual Eucharistic feast in the inner sanctuary of the heart. Meditation opens the door and, although we are engaging in specific meditation exercises at specific times, the aim is to bring this living reality into all of life. It is a portable sanctuary that is brought into all we are and do."

(Richard Foster)
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The Process of Unbending

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I want to unfold.
Let no place in me hold itself closed,
for where I am closed, I am false.
I want to stay clear in your sight.
(Rainer Maria Rilke)

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Often when I feel uncomfortable or a bit nervous, I will bend myself together and make myself small. I will sit with my knees tucked up against my chest, my hands clasped protectively in front of my knees. It is a defensive position, an attempt to ease my tension and nervousness and keep myself safe.
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As humans, our first instinct is to protect ourselves, to hide and cover those places that seem vulnerable. We do this when faced with physical harm, but we also defend ourselves against emotional and spiritual discomfort. Instead of exposing our weaknesses and insecurities, we shield them, cover them up, and pretend they do not exist. We avoid situations that scare us or make us apprehensive. We edit how much we self-disclose to others. We project an ideal version of ourselves.
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However, while protection is often our first instinct, I am coming to realize it is not a behavior we as Christians should engage in, for at its center it is dishonest and self-focused. Rather, we should attempt to unbend ourselves, to expose our vulnerability, reach out to others, and eliminate falseness.
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This process of unbending starts at the soul level. It involves an honest look at ourselves in the presence of God, a willingness to admit to ourselves and to God where we fail, where there is sin within us. It is, to borrow the words of Rilke, staying clear in God's sight. As we unbend ourselves before God we make ourselves known and we are able to experience the mercy and forgiveness available through the blood of Christ. Day by day we must unbend our souls and expose all the dark crevices to light and truth.
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Unbending spiritually inevitably will affect the way we live our lives. It is a reorientation, a move from inward-focus to outward-focus. As we unbend, as we pull our knees from our chest, stand up straight, and unwrap our arms from around our own waists, we are able to reach out to others. Tim Keller says that it is is only when we have unbent ourselves and allowed ourselves to feel discomfort and uncertainty that we are beginning to live God's call for our lives. God does not call us to a life of ease and comfort. But it is exactly in that discomfort that trust is built, faith is grown, and sin begins to peel away.
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Discomfort can take many forms, but for me it has often occurred in the context of relationships. I want to be thought well of by others, thus I often veil those aspects of myself I find embarrassing. For instance, this year I am living with some other girls in an apartment that is neither well-decorated nor neat and clean. It embarrasses me. I wonder what people will think of me if I invite them over. For a while, I rarely invited people over. And if I did, I apologized for the apartment's appearance.
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But I was keeping people at arm's length; I treated friends as guests rather than inviting them into my life, imperfect and messy as it often is. Thus in an unbending effort, I am trying to invite more people over to my apartment and into my life. This is not always the most comfortable experience, for as Lauren Winner says, "unbending requires inviting my neighbors in the very places where I am most bent." As I unbend, my friends will see the dust bunnies under my kitchen table, they will see my unmade bed, and they might see the annoyed, selfish, unkind, and insecure me.
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But let me encourage you with this: it is rewarding. Honesty and openness are the foundations of stronger, more intimate relationships. As we unbend ourselves, we open ourselves to being known, being changed, and being blessed. Unbending is also an equalizer; it breaks down ideas of superiority amongst people. It enables us to reach out to others with a hand of acceptance and grace and understanding. It empowers us to walk in God's calling.
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pc: sxc.hu
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The Shadow of His Scars

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Over the past few years, Megan and I have had the privilege of getting to know Rebecca Woodbury, a high school senior who hails from the Southwest. Today she shares with us a poem she wrote this past year.

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The world is a sorry place, my dear,
Full of pain and want and fear;
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Of empty hands stretched trembling out,
Eyes left hollow by famine and drought.
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Oh, the pangs of the masses’ tomorrow,
For we know, darling, it holds only sorrow.
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What will you do to heal their souls?
How will you help to make them whole?
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Your arms are full of the roses of life,
Your cheeks unblemished by hate or by strife;
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Let the love pour forth from your spirit,
Sing hope and beauty to any who will hear it.
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Rock crying babies to sleep in your arms,
Hold back fright and quiet alarms.
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Speak in peace and love what is right,
Cherish humility and walk in the light.
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For until you and I – until we rise up,
And let the world drink from Christ’s cup:
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Until we touch each heart with His grace,
No happy future can bless this place.
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For only in the shadow of His bloody scars,
Can we ever sleep in the shade of the stars.
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Quotations: The Power of Always Trying Again

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"After each failure, ask forgiveness, pick yourself up, and try again. Very often what God first helps us toward is not the virtue itself but just this power of always trying again. For however important chastity (or courage, or truthfulness, or any other virtue) may be, this process trains us in habits of the soul which are more important still. It cures our illusions about ourselves and teaches us to depend on God. We learn, on one hand, that we cannot trust ourselves even in our best moments, and, on the other hand, that we need not despair even in our worst, for our failures are forgiven. The only fatal thing is to sit down content with anything less than perfection."

C.S. Lewis
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Not Abandoned

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A small, nine-year old girl gripped the ball and nervously threw the pitch. The batter hit the ball in a line drive so fast that the young girl did not have time to react. The ball connected with the pitcher's stomach and the girl crumpled face forward into the grass, the breath knocked out of her.

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"She's just pretending. C'mon guys, let's go eat some of that birthday cake."
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The girl still lay face down in the grass. She wanted to move, to talk, but she couldn't find strength to do either. She wanted to scream, "I'm not pretending!" But it was impossible to move. She was conscious for the moment, but barely. Then all went completely black.
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Fifteen minutes later the girl woozily stood up. "Where am I and why am I standing in this field?" Then she remembered.
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Alone. Abandoned. They had left her.
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I was that little girl. Though it's been years since the accident, the day is still vivid in my mind. I was only a child, but I never felt so utterly alone as that day in the field.
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I staggered home into my mother's open arms and she comforted me with these words: "Honey, Jesus understands exactly what you're feeling."
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Those words were true then and they are still true now.
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Do you remember the story of Lazarus? John 11 tells of the death of Lazarus and his sisters' immense grief. But that it is not all. It also tells the story of Jesus' own grief. John 11:35 tells us that "Jesus wept."
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It always struck me oddly that even though Jesus knew that He would shortly raise His friend from the dead, He wept when Mary and Martha told Him of Lazarus' death.
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I do not claim to understand every aspect of this verse, but I think after reflecting on my accident on the field so many years ago, I understand these words a bit more. You see, Jesus felt for His friends. Yes, He knew the rest of the story. But in that moment, He keenly understood what Mary and Martha were going through. So He came along side them. And He wept.
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In the same way, He knows you. He cares for you. He understands you. He loves you.
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He weeps for you. He weeps for me. We are not abandoned. We are loved.
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Devastation and Relief Work in Haiti

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This 7-minute video chronicles through video footage and photographs some of the devastation and relief work going on in Haiti. The video is from an organization called Churches Helping Churches and it is well worth the 7 minutes.
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“You love Jesus, you teach the Bible, you marry a woman, you have four children, you’re serving the Lord in ministry, and now your wife is gone, your church is gone, your home is gone, Bible college is gone… So why do you smile? Where is your joy?”
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"It's from the Lord."

(HT: Hope Road)
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Quotations: Embrace

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"He is our Father, and He loves us, and He knows just what is best, and therefore, of course, His will is the very most blessed thing that can come to us under any circumstances... Could we but for one moment get a glimpse into the mighty depths of His love, our hearts would spring out to meet His will, and embrace it as our richest treasure. And we would abandon ourselves to it with an enthusiasm of gratitude and joy, that such a wondrous privilege could be ours."

Hannah Whitall Smith

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