Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Where I'm At: Krista

 photo whereImat-1.jpg Dear Bloom! readers, 

It’s been awhile since I’ve actually sat down with a cup of coffee beside me, humming to some hymn instrumental while I get to write an update on how God is constantly molding this stubborn old clay that is me.

I’m back in school taking some certificate courses for my teaching. I worked a year in a Christian preschool and almost got to stay with them, but God did a reroute and is teaching me once again the value of waiting in Him with a glad heart. Of course, that is so much easier said than done. This is the part where I get really thankful that Christ keeps working in my heart, because without Him, I truly will just be a big, hot mess. I am currently working partly with toddlers for some days of the week and I also get to do some receptionist work for the preschool on campus. To be honest, I wouldn’t pick two year olds as a class I’d be in, because a lot of people discuss the concept of "terrible twos", but God has taught me so much about childlike faith, having security in Him and running to Him with joy. The humbling thing about this is He has used tiny children in pull-ups to teach me this lesson every day.

Being left in a preschool is such a scary thing for a child, especially during their first few weeks. It’s a new, unfamiliar environment with sort of fun but strange adults. Plus, they have to struggle with that feeling that mommy and daddy are not around and cannot be seen, felt or heard at all. Having gone through a really tough trial four months ago, I felt like a newbie preschooler with an unknown destination and future, and having those troubling thoughts of fear of the unknown, doubting that He sees me or feels my emotions and all those icky feelings. God was really teaching me to rely on Him other than relying on other things that are temporary and not eternal. He was teaching me to rely on His character and His good name, and be rest assured that, He does love me.

The other hard thing I’ve had to battle is expectations, be it my own or others. I’ve been so tempted to compare myself with where other people are at: the places they’ve traveled, the family they’ve started, the career they’ve entered and built on, etc. It is very foolish and it was very me. It is such a daily battle to remind myself that I was created to glorify God and that His kingdom comes first. His thoughts and ways are higher than mine (Isaiah 55:8-9) and are eternal. At the root of all this was a man-made fear, that somehow, He has forgotten and overlooked me. I wanted to meet up with King David over a cup of tea and discuss how bad this feeling was; because, yes my mind knows how wide His love is for us (Eph. 3:14-21), but my heart wasn’t cooperating a little bit. The Psalms, Job and Jeremiah were important books to me in this season and God used a lot of those verses to reassure me and help realign my heart with His.

Just like Psalm 34:1-5 says, "I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together! I sought the Lord and he answered me and delivered me from my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed."

It may be an icky feeling, but when we pray and run towards God with our icky feelings, He does make something great with it. He teaches us a lesson and He revives our heart in the process as well. It is a hope that can keep us secure no matter how hard this life does get, knowing that everything works together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

Among other things, I am currently applying for graduate school and hoping to get into a field related to educational research. I would love to be able to reach out to children this way, knowing that it is a harvest field as well as other fields. Also, I’m currently getting evaluated as I teach the twos by the county I work at (daunting!) and I am a full-time student as well. In terms of hobbies, I am still getting hooked on quilting and have started learning how do quilt designs on quilts that I make. It is a prayer that I get to use the quilts to share the Gospel to others and also use it as a source of encouragement and reminder to keep our hope on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).

Monday, October 20, 2014

Tales from Taiwan: #final

Dear sisters,

How can one process a year and a half of life overseas into one post?  It isn't possible.  Nor is it possible for me to completely understand and express what God has done in my life in Taiwan.  Since that's not possible, I've chosen to share brief snippets throughout the year and a half as my final Tales from Taiwan post.  It's been a joy to share with you, readers around the world, what our King has been doing on one small island that's very near to my heart.  Thank you so much for the prayers, for the support, and kindness.  I'm one blessed girl!

So, here's glimpses of my time in Taiwan:

I learned that...

~ worshipping with fellow believers in another language is challenging and rewarding.  Sometimes the language barrier gets in the way, and yet, sometimes God breaks through that barrier and the fellowship you experience doesn't depend on words anymore.

~ chicken bowels don't taste good and they don't taste bad.  They're just kind of plain.  And slightly gross if I let myself think about it.  But I tried not to.

~ living abroad changes you, inside and out.  God uses it to mold you and conform you more like His Son and it's a terrifying and thrilling experience.  You're pushed out of your comfort zone (sometimes thrown out!) and suddenly you're experiencing things you never thought you'd ever know about.

~ hugs from village kids and orphans are simply the best kind of hugs around.

~  cultural differences really are...different.  I grew up learning about them, but wow, living in the midst of them is a totally different story!  I realized that it doesn't mean they are bad, but simply different and I must respect them.

~ getting lost on your first Sunday in a new city in a new country is nerve-wracking and good and crazy.  And totally used by God to remind you of your dependence on Him.

~ being a white foreign girl in a Taiwanese hospital is quite an experience (and I had many of those, unfortunately!).  Hearing your name called out - your Chinese name - and then raising your hand to indicate it's you is also quite an experience.  Especially when the guy tries to convince you it's not you he's calling, since he's expecting a Taiwanese girl.

~ teaching an English class during the time the Buddhists practice their temple drums is hard and a good reminder to pray for the lost.  Plus, it gets your voice some extra practice speaking as you strive to get your students to hear you over the loudness of the drums!

~ God is good.  All the time.  I saw that over and over again in Taiwan.  And I know without a doubt it's totally true.  He's good when a friend comes to know Him and He's good when I lay in a bed in the emergency room.  He's good when I struggle through the four tones of Mandarin and He's good when I have ten village boys listening intently to the Bible story.

He's good all the time, sisters!

謝 謝 你 (thank you) for your support!  I feel so privileged to have spent 1.5 years on this beautiful tropical island where the kids play hard and hug hard and ask questions like "Teacher, how do I pray?".  I love that I have 3,000+ kids across the ocean that I know and that I shared Christ with, in small ways or in big ways.  Now as I'm back in the States, I miss Taiwan and yes, I'm homesick, but I know this small island will never leave my heart, nor God's.  So I pray and trust and hope for a future trip...because you never know what He might be planning next!

For His work continuing in Taiwan,

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Where I'm At: Victoria

 photo whereImat-1.jpg

I realize it has been close to two years since I last wrote a “Where I’m At” post. To say that a lot has happened since then would be an understatement! I will share what I’m doing right now, and some major lessons God has taught me, and is still teaching me.

I have since graduated from high school, and I sit here writing this in my dorm at college. I am a freshman at a Christian liberal arts college. I’ve not even been here two months but it feels like home already. I love it here, and am so glad God paved a way for me to come!

It almost didn’t happen, and I really didn’t think I’d get to attend a Christian college. I remember back in March telling people it would take a miracle for me to be able to come to college here. Well, let me just tell you – God does still perform miracles! The ways He provided for me were awesome!

One of the major lessons I’ve learned in the past year is that money is like nothing before God. There is no amount too big. He is, after all, in charge of the universe, so why would I think He wouldn’t provide? Even though I know this, it’s still hard to trust at times. 

I’ve learned this lesson in two big ways this year. One was getting more than enough for my mission trip to Taiwan and Hong Kong. (You can read about that here) The other way was getting scholarships to be able to attend this college.

Another big lesson I’ve learned this year is that success cannot be measured or even seen. Success isn’t based upon the results. It is based upon following God’s will. I learned this while in Hong Kong. You see, when I went on the mission trip, I went expecting results. I wanted to lead a child to God. I wanted to see fruit. So when that didn’t happen, and it didn’t seem like I was making much of a difference, I became discouraged. I remember the night before we flew to Hong Kong, which was our final city. I was crying and telling myself that this trip had been a failure for me. That I was a failure.

One day in Hong Kong, I was looking again at the schedule. There was a lesson on the last day that we would teach entitled “Success/God’s Will.” I’d seen it before on the schedule in other cities, and had even taught a lesson on success. But this time I saw the words with new eyes – I saw the words together, connected. And it became clear to me suddenly. Success was following God’s will! As simple as that! I felt freed of the burden I had been carrying that made me believe I had to change the kids. I quickly began to connect this concept to other areas of my life, too. I saw that I would not be a failure if I went to a local community college. If I tried my best to get in elsewhere, and was led to go there, then it was good. If it was God’s will, then I would, in fact, be successful by going there.

There is a great passage in Isaiah that illustrates clearly what God taught me. Just because I couldn’t see the fruit, doesn’t mean there wasn’t any. God’s Word changes people, even if I cannot see it. God never fails. As Isaiah 55:8-11 says:

““For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there without watering the earth and making it bear and sprout, and furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater; so will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; it will not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.”

I have been learning recently about following God. I have realized how important it is to do what He says, even if it’s not what I want. I don’t need to know the future, or even necessarily the next step. I just need to follow the Holy Spirit.

At this time in my life I think a lot about what I want to do with my life. About my ideal future. However, I know God could change my plans drastically. Or He could say yes but take me down a different road to get to where I’m going. 

Right now, there are multiple possibilities I am considering concerning my future. I am interested in Music Therapy; songwriting; teaching music in a third world country; teaching music to physically or mentally disabled people (related to Music Therapy); and getting my doctorate and teaching music at a Christian college. I will probably have to narrow that down, or I may get to do all of them! I really don’t know for sure. I feel like the direction God has been leading me in is using music to help others. But only He knows the specifics. I’m realizing that’s okay, though. I need to just follow Him one step at a time. I don’t have to see the bigger picture to know that doing that is true success!