Love & Singleness



Is there a more expected, and kind of awkward, day of the entire year to talk about love? And singleness?

Probably not.

But you, my lovelies, have requested that we talk a little bit more about love. And guys, relationships, God and singleness. And I'm glad you asked, because it's well-worth talking about.

Whether you are single and happy, longing for the future, or struggling to trust God with your relationship status - or all of the above - how do you honor God and live out your full self when you feel you have a heart full of love and no one to give it to? Or when you're lonely...again? Or simply left out?

There's no magic formula. And I'm not pretending I know all the answers. But one of the most important things for me remember is simply this: God has good plans. 

He hasn't forgotten you. He chose you and then gave everything he had to rescue and win you. You are precious to him.

You can offer your heart as a sacrifice to him, no matter what it is and what you feel like. Sometimes that is an every day or every minute prayer - but it is one he honors. Trusting and leaning on him is a gift we can offer, but it must be done by choice. We rarely feel like it.

And then?

Remember that relationships are gifts because they were designed to be community, drawing us closer to God in unique ways. But it is only one type of community. The fact that you are not dating or married does not change who you are or what you have to offer so many people. You can still pour out love and receive delight.

Probably one of the most surprising discoveries I made after I started dating was the fact that I was still me. I don't know who I thought I would turn into, but I was still the same girl who loved to sleep in, bounced when she got excited, was by no means an impressive cook and was laser-focused on personal goals like writing my thesis and competing at a higher level in ballroom dance.

Yes, relationships and marriages are designed to shape and change you in healthy ways. But your personality, the things that you invest in, and the things that are important to you? That probably won't change. Look for opportunities to invest in the things that matter to you now, no matter what they are.

You are not a half-person right now. Relationships are not the answers to life - they are a piece along the journey.

And my favorite promise, in any stage of life, has been to remember C.S. Lewis' thoughts: If we find in ourselves a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probably explanation is that we were made for another world. 

Your deepest longings, that you think perhaps a relationship can fulfill? It can't.

It's a longing for God. And sometimes, that ache won't even be met by a vibrant relationship with Him - because it is still not the face-to-face closeness and intimacy we were meant for. It's a promise we carry in our hearts that we are not yet home, and to keep seeking.

One day, we are promised that all will be right - so much more than right - and the ache will be gone.

In the meantime? God is not done with you yet - and he's not done writing your story, either.

-- reposted from February 14, 2014

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