Where I'm At: Joanna
What God is doing in my heart and life lately...
Perhaps you remember my February post "when pain doesn't fly away". If so, you'll recall that I've been going through some health issues, including dealing with post-concussion syndrome and a life-threatening allergy. Experiencing so much pain on a daily basis has definitely been difficult and challenging, to say the least. Granted, there has been some days when I've felt more like myself and energetic and happy. But really, a lot of my days have been filled with pain and problems and questions with no answers.
I can't tell you for sure why God allowed me to have this serious allergy and all the problems involved. I don't know why He has allowed me to continue to suffer from a severe case of post-concussion syndrome. I don't have all those answers.
But that's okay.
Take a look at Romans 9:20-23, where Scripture talks about the clay and the potter, and again in Isaiah 64:8: "But now, O Lord, You are our Father, we are the clay, and You our potter; and all of us are the work of Your hand."
I've been coming to realize that it's okay to not know why. As those Scripture verses say, I'm the clay, He's the Potter. I may not be very appreciative of the pain right now, but I know I can trust the Potter. I know He is good and kind and loving and wants only the best for me.
You see, I've been learning that I don't have to know why, as long as I know Who. That's because why focuses more on me, whereas who takes the focus off me and my problems and places it directly on my Heavenly Father. When my focus is on the why, I begin to have a pity-party for myself and that only increases the problem and feelings of discouragement. Believe me, I've learned that the hard way. As I've been searching the Scriptures, I've seen over and over again how my Lord wants my focus to be on Him. He wants me to love Him (Matt. 22:37-38), to obey Him (1 Sam. 15:22), to serve Him (Col. 3:23-24)...and so forth. The point isn't me, it's Jesus!
So when I have a painful headache, an allergy reaction that is hindering my breathing, or problems with my eyes focusing because of a concussion, I know it's not all about me. It's about Him.
When I'm tempted to feel sorry for myself, I remind myself that when all is said and done and I'm in heaven, my pain is not going to matter, but He will for forever!